Before:

Here's a genuine on-line dating profile, typical of what gets sent to me by Encounters on a daily basis:

"I play golf, watch a lot of sport on the television, like eating out, and  travel."

This bloke has entirely overlooked the fact that he is talking to a woman! Putting out some bait to lure her out for a date - or at least a potentially interesting chat on the phone. How many women would put 'playing golf' down first, as the most important thing in her life? How many women like watching sport on television? Doesn't nearly everybody like eating out and travelling?  How does that differentiate this man from the stiff competition out there?

Tips:

You need to think through what will make you appeal to womankind.

This is actually very straightforward.  Ask a group of women to write a list of the top ten characteristics they're looking for in a man, and you'll find they all come up with the same things:

kind, funny, nice smile, solvent, tall, confident, intelligent, independent, fit, interesting

 'a love of rugby' rarely features.

'romantic and caring' sounds a bit wet, needy, and claustrophobic in a bloke

Write your blurb as you speak - make it immediate, warm, and personal to you. You can do this by recording yourself telling your MP3 what's so special about you, and then writing down what you found yourself saying. Don't say you've got a GSOH, demonstrate your wit implicitly in what you write.

You will, of course, include a pic. Make sure it's the best you can do - not just the first old one you can lay your hands on.  Your photo is the most important part of this personal ad campaign. Try a wide, warm, natural smile; you could be snuggling a dog; and take notice of what you wear, and the surroundings behind you.  We women are looking for clues of your lifestyle, so don't just take a selfie of you wearing a flowery shirt in a Travel Lodge or something, as your potential admirer will assume that you like dodgy clothes, and that the background is your home, indicating your taste, and how you choose to live!

Never include any negatives, be they health problems, money problems, or 'baggage'.  Everything takes on ten times the impact when it's written down.  Don't use cliches or try to sound clever using long quotations made up by someone else - make up your own! 'Carpe diem'? Yawn.  How many profiles use that one!

Check for grammar and spelling mistakes.  If you don't take trouble over your profile, the implication is that this potential new relationship doesn't matter to you either. Whereas most women are looking for their life partner.

However much the idea may grate, you must accept that in on-line dating, you are essentially making yourself into a brand or a product to be sold on a website, and you will need to shine out against the intense competition.

Example of The Dating Profile That Worked:

To check out my theories, I put up a fake profile on Encounters, pretending to be the man of every woman's dreams. Well I got it right.  I was inundated by 'messages' immediately the profile went up!  Even without a photo - which naturally I couldn't include! Within a couple of hours I had to remove my effort though, as Encounters' Big Brother had spotted what I was up to.  He had read my truthful replies admitting my ruse to all those potential new love-matches I had so easily won!

I wrote something like this:

"Help! I'm a widower with three grown-children who have all just fled the nest.  I'm rattling about in this far too big house, and would like a little more company than just my dog.  Otherwise my day to day life would make most people green with envy.  I keep fit by playing squash, tennis and swimming at the local club, and sometimes a leisurely cycle ride through the countryside, or along the tow-path to the pub.  I've got a favourite local down the road with lots of friends there if I'm feeling hungry/thirsty or lonely; but I'd love to prepare a special beef wellington using fillets supplied by the local farmer next door - especially for you.

My ideal partner would be my best friend and companion, as well as my lover.  Beautiful, witty and wise, you are my intellectual equal, but I will provide you with that sense of security and belonging that matters to us all so much.  Whilst retaining our individual space, we will always be there for one another,

Good Luck!  And if you get stuck, give me a call, and let me help you!